Story time...

So I've recently decided that I'm going to get back into writing, and with some encouragement from a friend I started writing a short story loosely based on my life. It's going to revolve around Grace and Mason, who meet when Grace is in her second year of college through a mutual friend. Mason is a United States Marine and is stationed 700 miles away from Grace, yet somehow they meet, fall in love, and go on a life long journey together.
I don't have much done yet at all, but I basically have it all planned out and how I want it to be.
I figured I would let ya'll read what I have so far.
Any tips of any kind are greatly appreciated!

Here it is :

Grace

It was a hot summer that year, almost every day the temperature rose well over 90 degrees. Grace, a waitress at Beach Eats, a summer restaurant located on the coast of Lake Michigan in the small town of Harmon, knew the high temperatures very well. She usually worked from day to night, open to close. She said it was to save money for college, that was starting up again at the beginning of August, but everyone knew she worked so much to keep herself busy and away from home. See, Grace was raised with two wonderful parents, ones that barely ever fought. Everyone in town knew them as the happy McKenna family, one that had a beautiful home, and a beautiful life. Grace’s dad, Scott, the pastor at the local church, was the nicest, good-hearted man the town of Harmon had ever had. Her mom, Sally, a kindergarten teacher, was known for her kindness and people would always go to her for advice and help. People in town say that, “talking to Sally is a whole hell of a lot cheaper than therapy, but the results are better”. And that’s the truth, Sally McKenna had a way with people, making them feel better and helping them through tough times in their lives. Scott and Sally, together, were unstoppable. The entire town could feel, and see, the love the two of them had for each other and their children, Grace and Max. Grace saw it too, and she knew how lucky she was for having such great parents. However, after that summer, the McKenna family would never be the same.

Grace was twelve years old when it happened, and even at twenty-one years old she still feels like it was just yesterday. The whole family was vacationing in Florida, visiting family and having a great time. They were staying with Scott’s parents, in their beach house right on the coast. Max, Grace’s younger brother, was five years old and just as rowdy and rambunctious as any five year old would be. Grace loved him more than anything in this world and even though he would get annoying sometimes, she would do anything for him. They spent the entire month of July at the beach house with their grandparents, laughing, playing and making memories they would never forget.

However, that’s the part that Grace is having trouble with, the never forgetting.

She remembers it, clear as day; the entire family was heading down to the beach that day. Max was running around, driving everyone crazy with his excitement. Grace was trying to get ready, but she kept being interrupted by Max pounding on the bathroom door saying, “sissy c’mon! Hurry up, we going to the beach, beach beaaaaach!” then running away to share his excitement with their parents. Once everyone was ready, the family finally started their journey down to the beach. Max, of course, ran ahead of everyone and even with his parents and grandparents yelling for him to stop and wait for them, he sped off right towards the beach. The beach house was located directly across from the beach entrance and from the back door of the house there was a pathway that took you to the street, and right across the street was the beach. Grace knew that Max wouldn’t remember that there was a street he needed to cross before he got to the beach, and even though the street was not that busy, she sped after her brother yelling for him to stop and wait for her. But, like any other five year old, Max did not listen and kept running to get to the beach. It wasn’t until they heard the screeching of the tires and the silence of Max’s yells of excitement, that they realized something serious was wrong. Grace got to him first, but she didn’t know what to do. Her baby brother was just lying there, in the middle of the road, not moving. The driver of the car had gotten out and was just standing there, motionless, and just staring at Max. Neither of them knew what to do to help him and all Grace could think to do was call for her parents, who were already sprinting there after hearing the tire screeching. After that point Grace doesn’t remember much, it’s all fuzzy to her, all she knows is her life would never be the same after that day.

Max was rushed to the local children’s hospital with serious injuries. The driver of the car that hit him was driving well over the 35mph speed limit and did not see Max as he attempted to sprint across the street to get to the beach. Max held on though, he fought the biggest battle of his life, and shocked many doctors when he started to pull through his injuries. It just wasn’t enough though, and after spending 3 weeks in the hospital things just weren’t getting much better. He needed a surgery that was supposed to repair the break in his back, but nobody knew that the surgery was going to lead to what it did. It was the longest 5 hours the McKenna family had ever waited. Not knowing what was going on and if Max was okay was killing all of them and Grace tried to stay strong about it on the outside, but inside she was falling apart, screaming and begging for her baby brother to be okay. The news the doctor gave the family that day was devastating. Max was in a coma, the surgery did not go so well and the coma was his body’s reaction. The words “I’m sorry but he’s in a coma” just sent chills all over Grace, she didn’t know what to say, do, or think anymore. Max was her everything, her favorite person, and now she doesn’t even know the next time she will hear his voice. It was the most intense thing she had ever had to deal with, and being only twelve years old, she didn’t know how to handle it all.

Max held on for eight years, he never came out of the coma, but he seemed to show some progress. It was two weeks after Grace’s twentieth birthday that the family made the decision to let Max go. In eight years the progress that he made was not very promising and the family decided that the best thing to do was let Max go and be with God. Grace felt her heart ripping out of her chest, she didn’t want to let go of her baby brother even though she knew it was best for him. She was being selfish, and she knew it. She wanted him there with her, even if it meant he would be in the coma forever. That was better than not having him at all. She wanted to be able to read stories to him, tell him about her day, vent to him when something was bothering her, sit next to him and watch him breath and just know that he was there with her, just like she spent the last eight years doing. Max couldn’t talk back, couldn’t move or even breath on his own, but Grace knew that talking to him and being there with him was the only thing she had that made her feel better about the whole thing. And if they let him go she knew that she would never be able to do those things again. It was heartbreaking, but the decision was made and on September 7, 2008 Max received his wings and flew home to be with God.

Summertime reminded Grace of Max the most, and this very hot and humid summer brought nothing but memories back to Grace. That’s why she worked as much as she did, she knew it was to keep herself busy and to keep her away from home but she would never admit that to anyone. If anyone asked, it was to raise money for her second year of college, but she didn’t have anybody fooled. 

It's pretty long, but it is only a tiny bit of my story. 

Let me know what you think! :) 

xoxo mrs. krys