and your heart's the moon. <3
So, I started this blog to be able to vent about things that happen in my daily life & for a place to be able to let all my emotions out, so that's what I'm going to do now.
"I'll do whatever it takes, when I'm with you I get the shakes.. my body aches when I ain't with you, I have zero strength" Eminem, you couldn't have said it any better.
Whenever I'm with my husband, its like nothing else in the world exists, and everything just makes sense. But, when hes gone & not around, I feel like I cant do anything & I just feel like straight poop. I don't get why though? Especially right now, when he has only been gone for a little less than two weeks.
I just went through a 7 month Deployment & I'm feeling this way about two weeks?
That's it, I'm officially a loser.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I can cope on my own & I've made the best out of the time that he's been away. I got two new jobs, one at Rite Aid as a cashier and one as a writer at teen mom talk.
I re-decorated the house a bit, spent quite a bit of time writing my short story, and finished a class in school with a 100% average. I'd say that the time that he was gone was pretty succesful. But now that there is nothing left for me to do but sit and twiddle my thumbs until he gets home, I'm starting to feel pretty shitty.
It's like two steps forward, and one step backwards.
I can never catch up on my feelings.
I wish that things would just be easy, and stay that way. And I know that once Adam is home, and we get back into our normal routine, everything will be better and I will feel fine. But I just wish I had the will power to stay okay when he's gone too. And it's not like he wants to keep leaving me and going to all these places, it's his job and he has no choice, and I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier.
You would think that after two years of the same thing I would finally get it. But I can guarentee that no matter how long it's been it will always be hard to have him leave.
And you know what, I'm okay with that, because that just shows how much better he has made my life and the positive impact he holds on me.
I love him more then I ever thought I could love somebody.
And that'll never change, no matter how much time we have to spend apart.
"Is anybody out there, it feels like I'm talking to myself... no one seems to know my struggle and everything I come from. Can anybody hear me? I guess I keep talking to myself, it feels like I'm going insane, am I the one who's crazy?" Eminem, again, you just say everything so right.
Anyone else feel the same way I do?
What do you do to make it better?
Leave a comment & let me know!
xoxo mrs.krys
awe this was sad & i cant imagine the struggle you go through :( i hate my husband working nights, let alone not coming home for long periods of time! well just know you have people you can turn to :))
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